Are you wondering how to get over a bad breakup fast? Then you’re in the right place.
In this post I share helpful tips that helped me get over a bad breakup in a positive way. And am guessing you’re here because you want tips that will actually help you as well.
We all know relationships have highs and lows and require commitment if you want it to last.
But if you think you’re totally ready to move on and want to know how to get over a breakup fast, then keep reading.
But first let me bore you with my life!
So, my 12 year relationship just ended, and it really sucks! For lack of a better word.
But the truth is, deep down, I knew it was ending, but I just refused to accept it. And too overwhelmed to do anything about it.
See, the thing is, for quite some time, we were not communicating, barely spent any time nourishing our relationship and, well, our relationship sucked.
Honestly, the spark and love were no longer there because we stopped trying…
The break up was messy and painful. I felt rejected, unwanted, and unloved. But after weeks of reflection and soul searching, I realized it was a blessing in disguise.
This forced me to take a hard look at my life and realized that I just existed for my family. I had no passion, and I lost myself somewhere along the way.
I did not know what I wanted or who I was, so I was settling for things because they were familiar and safe.
I was also having panic attacks. Couldn’t eat, sleep or think straight. I was broke. Didn’t like my body. Let’s just say I was a mess!
But now that I am forced to sit alone in my pain and what’s left of my life. I am taking actions to transform my life financially, mentally, and physically. To get to a place where I feel worthy, happy and in love with whom I am.
And I promise you will too.
So here are my tips on how to get over a breakup. These are helpful tips that you can modify to help you heal from a breakup.
You’re not asking too much, you’re just asking the wrong person.
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1| It’s not always about you or who you are as a person
As we get older and have experiences, our values change. The things we thought were funny, cute or what we wanted can change. And that’s okay.
Think about it, what you wanted when you’re a teen is not necessarily what you’re going to want when you’re 30…
So, when someone says I want something different, or this is not working for me anymore, we have to be ok with their decision and not make it about us.
Remember, you are enough, but your ex is just not connecting with you on the same level anymore. So don’t beat yourself up asking ‘why?’. You will get over it.
2| Learn forgiveness
Forgiveness is huge in letting go of pain and getting over a bad breakup. It is an intentional decision to let go of anger and resentment.
Forgiveness can be you forgiving yourself for your mistakes, your part in the breakup, or for allowing your boundaries to be violated.
Forgiveness is also you forgiving the other person for their wrong. Keep in mind that you don’t need to speak with your ex to forgive them. You can say it out loud or write it down.
Forgiveness is a sign that you are letting go, not necessarily a sign of reconciliation. And is meant to bring YOU peace.
3| Look on the bright side To get over a breakup fast
Did you know the sun is always shining behind the clouds?
In my situation, I could have allowed anger and resentment to consume me and ended up depressed.
But I chose to look at this painful ending as the beginning of my new, fulfilled life. And a chance for a fresh start.
Maybe your breakup is a wake up call telling you, you can do better, or you need to focus on you for a change. So choose to see the purpose in the pain to help you heal from your breakup.
4| Focus on yourself to get over your breakup
When we are in relationships, we sometimes sacrifice a bit of ourselves to make our person happy. Or sometimes neglect our needs and wants to pour into someone else.
So now that you are single, prioritize your needs and the things that are important to you.
Think about what you want and need? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? How can you bring more joy back into your life? How can you start showing up for yourself?
So, bringing the focus back onto yourself will help you get over a breakup faster.
5| Make self care a priority After a breakup
Self care for me is not just about bubble baths. It’s about identifying my wants and needs and bringing fulfillment into my days.
Start doing things just because it makes you happy. And for no other reason. This can include having a spa day, going for a walk, going out to your favorite restaurant, getting your hair done, exercising, etc.
Related: Self-Care Ideas For Women: Spiritual, Mental, Physical Health
6| Move your body
Yes, I know exercise is a part of self care!
But make physical activity a part of your daily routine. Because, not only will it increase your energy, but it will transform your body and give you the confidence to want more and better for your life.
When I looked in the mirror, I could honestly say I didn’t completely like what I saw. I know body positivity!
But if we are really honest with ourselves, we can love an unhealthy body and use body positivity as an excuse to not do anything about it.
Or we can see what needs to change to look and feel like our ideal self. And hey, it’s not about wanting to look like someone else or a number on the scale, it’s about being your version of healthy.
7| Learn to trust in God, Allah, The Universe
Most people don’t like to talk about God online, but I don’t care.
Just trust and believe that the pain and uncertainty you’re experiencing are meant to teach you a lesson.
I believe nothing we encounter in life is accidental or chance. Things happen for a reason!
They happen for you, not to you.
So believe that everything will workout the way they are meant to and trust that God is in control. This belief has been my guiding light in helping me get over my breakup faster.
8| Quality alone time Is important for healing
Quiet time with yourself is when we get the most clarity. Stay off technology, go for a walk alone, sit in nature, or just sit in silence with yourself, journaling, meditating, allowing your thoughts to wonder.… This will bring you clarity to navigate your next steps.
Quiet the mind and your soul will speak.
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9| Get out of your comfort zone
This may sound counterintuitive to the last point but, getting out and been around people is good for your mental health.
Have a lunch date or see a movie with a friend.
Getting out of your comfort zone and into a new environment, find a new hobby, learn a new skill, something other than your current situation to focus on will help you get over a breakup faster.
Related: 84 Fun Things To Do With Friends In Winter, Summer
10| Cry To get over a breakup
Do all the ugly cries you want. Just get it all out. Trust me, it helps.
I remember crying so much that the skin around my eyes became bruised. But it was a much needed release.
It’s totally ok to be sad and sit with your sadness. And allow yourself to feel what it needs to feel.
Don’t hide or mask your emotions because it will find a way out eventually.
But once you’re done crying, get your shit together and move on. Because sitting in self pity will not help you get over a breakup.
11| Heart ache gets better with time
No, really, it gets a lot better. I am a testament to this, because I felt there was no way I was ever going to feel better or survive financially, but I did. With the grace of God.
And you will too. Just give yourself time to heal and be gentle with yourself.
12| Way to get over a breakup: Get busy
Do something that makes you happy. Cooking, dancing, intense workout, reading a book…
Just pour your energy into something that will uplift you. Get so busy trying to achieve your goals and living your life that there’s no time to sit and stress over your past.
14| Talk to someone you trust
I am deeply introverted, with no friends, but I have a great support system.
During my breakup, I needed someone to talk to, someone to comfort me. And this helped tremendously.
So find someone to vent to. Someone you trust to help you find a way through.
Being honest with how you’re feeling and talking can help you discover how to manage your new life after a breakup.
15| Don’t numb the pain
I love drinking wine, but I chose not to drink the first few weeks of my breakup.
Because even though alcohol can make you feel relaxed, you don’t want to rely on its numbing, distressing temporary effect. This can make your anxiety and stress even more difficult to cope with long term. (source)
So if you want to know how to get over a breakup in a positive way, then try staying away from any drugs or alcohol.
16| Leave your ex alone!
It is very tempting to want to contact them, for whatever reason. But space is essential for both of you to have room to reflect and come to terms with what has happened.
If there was any confusion or assumption around your breakup, then give it some time to allow emotions to settle before contacting them.
17| Don’t force reconciliation if you want to get over a breakup
In the early weeks of my breakup, all I wanted to do was to fix things and make it work. But thank God I left his ass alone.
Because time and space allow room for clarity. You will see all the little things that were not working and realize all the reasons why you should not get back together.
Remember, your ex is your ex for a reason. So don’t beat yourself up over what could have been or what you should have done. Because if it could have been anything else, it would have been exactly that.
18| Start a new routine
So your life has changed. Now what?
Changing my routine was one of the first things I did when I became single. And it had a huge impact on my mental health.
You can choose to stay in a rut, in the same old routine, or you can choose to create a routine that caterers to your needs and wants.
If your current routine works, that’s fine too. But the best part about getting over a breakup is putting the focus back on you and how you can live more intentionally for you.
Related: Good Morning Text For Him To Make Him Smile
19| Declutter to get over a breakup
The art of tidying up is amazing. Getting rid of anything that reminded me of my ex felt like a weight off my shoulders.
Create a space that is your own. That makes you happy to live in. So, anything that reminds you of your ex, get rid of it. Even his comfy sweater you love….
20| determine What you want
Now that you’re single, what do you want?
Dating might not be on your mind, but you can still create a vision of your ideal partner.
Daydream a little.
What do they look like? How do they make you feel? What are their values and beliefs? How do they treat you? How successful are they?….
This is a fun way to get over a breakup because it forces you to think about what you need and deserve, and not just what you will settle for.
And remember you don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are. So love on you first before finding someone else to love.
Final Thoughts
You will go through periods of being happy that it ended and ready to move on with your life. And other times, feeling regret and anger.
But it’s all a part of the process. Just give yourself the love and compassion you need to heal. Before you know it, you will find someone who adds to your life and loves you for you.
Hope you found these ways to get over a breakup helpful. Share your breakup tips below..
