The lies we tell ourselves are convenient ways of hiding from the truth, which is sometimes much more difficult to accept.
Think for a moment. What are you lying to yourself about? Just so you don’t have to admit the truth.
The uncomfortable truth we are hiding from forces us to face our fear, or reveals something about ourselves that we refuse to admit.
This lie does nothing for us but keeps us stuck in our own pain and discomfort. It makes us feel better about our own demise.
So, the next time you lie to yourself, stop and think, what am I protecting myself from? What am I refusing to admit?
Lies we tell ourselves: I am different or I’m just built different
Comparing yourself to others is quite normal, but thinking I’m just built different or your humanness is different from their humanness is kind of crazy.
We are all equal and unique in our own ways. But some people can rise above bullshit, get their life together, and get what they want.
While others complain and settle for the life they have.
The lie I was telling myself was that successful, rich people are somehow different from the poor and middle class. And I convinced myself I wasn’t one of them.
So I worked in the same nursing home for over 15 years because it was safe and comfortable.
But I was miserable. I knew I wanted more and could get more, but kept telling myself I wasn’t special enough.
This lie provided safety for me. I didn’t have to get out of my comfort zone, to believe in something that seemed out of reach. Like becoming self-employed and financially independent.
So, what lies do you tell yourself that are keeping you stuck?
Notice that the thing you are most afraid of is usually worth doing.
Stop thinking your humanness is different. Because you are giving yourself permission to believe you don’t have access to anything you want. Like every one else does.
The truth is, we are all the same. We create our own reality. You don’t become what you want, you become what you think and believe.
Lies we tell ourselves: When I get X one day I will be happy
Most of us think when we get what we want, ‘one day I will be happy’.
But can we truly be happy and content with our lives? Or should we always strive for better and more?
I have never really felt satisfied with my life. I have always felt this longing for more, not necessarily things, but more contentment.
For a while, I felt trapped in this cycle of, when I get “X” I know for sure I will wake up happy. Then when I did, the pleasure never last.
For example, I would always say when I become a nurse, I will finally be financially stable and happy. Well, I worked as a nurse for 2 years, then quit.
But what I now realize is that nothing outside of myself can make me happy. I needed to fix the issues I had within myself first and find my happiness within.
This took a lot of soul searching, meditation, and getting to know what I wanted out of life, not what they expected of me, to find my version of happiness.
Keep in mind happiness is a feeling, not a thing. Find what brings you joy, what brings peace and alignment into your life, then you will be happy.
Take money, for example, it can’t make you happy. It’s the experience that money offers that makes us happy.
It doesn’t matter what thing or person you think you need to make you happy. Trust me, it won’t. Only you complete you.
Related: 30-day Happiness Challenge: Easy Ways To Be Happier
There is not enough time in a day
Another subtle lie we tell ourselves is there is never enough time in one day! This used to be my motto.
Then I realized we all get the same 24hrs, but I was wasting most of mine. Scrolling through YouTube, procrastinating, doing all but the things that were top priority.
Evaluate your priorities and if this means keeping track of your daily task to see where your time is going, then so be it.
It will shock you how some simple habits like 20mins on social media or procrastinating take up much of your time.
This time-wasting adds up. Before you know it, the day is over and you’re wondering how you got nothing done.
Well, I can’t change, that’s just who I am
I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
Jimmy Dean
“I can’t change” or “I can’t handle change” are damaging lie we tell ourselves too often.
It’s just a load of crap, and you know it!
But I once believed this about myself.
I also believed that my life was what I was and couldn’t change the course of it. So, I accept the mediocre life I had.
Boy, was I wrong! I couldn’t be further from the truth.
The fact is, we create our own reality. The negative or positive thoughts we hold in our minds dictate our reality.
That we attract the experiences we have, and we can change the course of our life by changing our thoughts.
So, when we say “that’s just who I am” that is limiting belief and self-labeling. You are labeling yourself based on your previous experiences.
If you’re used to telling yourself you’re lazy, a pessimist… You can change this by reprogramming your brain to think how you want it to think.
Learn how to reprogram your mind to think positively, lose bad habits, and stop self-sabotage here.
I am never enough: to need someone to complete me
“I need someone to complete me,” is a lie most of us believe. That’s why we stay in terrible relationships or settle.
I used to think I needed someone to complete me and make me happy. That I wasn’t worthy enough to complete me. But really, I was enough.
These feelings I had stemmed from my abandonment issues from childhood.
Feeling complete meant I had to learn self-love, to know I am loved. I am enough and needed nothing outside myself to be complete.
You may get into a relationship thinking you will finally be happy and complete. But soon you will realize no one can live up to that expectation. And you’re left disappointed.
If you don’t feel complete or enough, then maybe there are deeper issues you need to uncover to get to your best self.
It’s too hard, I can never do it
All the times I lied to myself and told myself something was too hard and way out of my reach was ridiculous.
This lie most of us tell ourselves is part of a defense mechanism to avoid the uncomfortable truth.
By telling ourselves that we cannot do something, we give ourselves permission to never try to put ourselves outside our comfort zone.
Never venturing out of your comfort zone provides safety, but when you try to ignore the inner critic, yes, it’s uncomfortable, but it allows you to grow and boost your self-confidence.
I have always told myself I hate writing and am not good at it, but I barely tried. Sure, am not the best at writing, but I am challenging myself to brace the unknown and work on my writing skills.
What have you been afraid of trying or maybe some fool told you, you’re terrible at it? Well, challenge yourself to try!
The only way to know what you can accomplish is by trying. After all, we all have only one life to live. Make the most of it and leave no stone unturned.
I can’t say or do X because people may think…
Looking back, my life used to revolve around what people thought about me. I can remember in high school never taking part in sports or in-class discussions because of what I thought people would think or say.
This was hindering my growth!
The reality is people are too busy with their lives to give a F**k about you and your insecurities.
The moment we realize we have one life to live, there is no do-over or second chances. That’s the moment you give yourself permission to live fully and unapologetically.
Besides, it’s your life, so if you want to go against the grain, you need no one’s permission.
When it’s all said and done, we are all individual, so your thoughts and actions will not always appeal to everyone.
Society wants us to conform to a way of thinking and being. When we don’t, we are seen as different, weird, or rebellious.
But if being yourself means ignoring the norms of society and what people may think about you, then just be true to yourself.
Related: How To Stay True To Yourself & Live Life To The Fullest
Conclusion
It’s no secret that we all have lies we tell ourselves for one obvious reason, to feel better. But is it worth it?
Sometimes, but in the long run, it doesn’t serve us. Reflect on your life. And see what little lie you have been feeding yourself.
And replace it with the truth, the uncomfortable, ugly truth you’re hiding from.
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